After raging for a while, I started to gather myself by calming down my mind. I remember learning Bali Usada Health meditation, that I have to focus on this moment which is mindfulness. I don’t need to ask questions again, I don’t need to regret and I don’t need to worry about anything that has not happened. However, as a normal human being it is not easy for me to allow my mind to always be mindful. Moreover I also have comorbid disease. But then my thoughts tell me to just move forward and surrender. 

In the evening I usually join the daily Mixlr live streaming meditation practice. After joining the meditation practice together, I started to feel calmer. Then the next day I contacted Pak Putu Dhana, one of the Bali Usada instructors to ask about the kind of meditation technique that I should be doing. I was recommended by Pak Putu to focus my attention on the respiratory system and circulatory system. Pak Putu also recommended that I consult directly with Pak Merta Ada. 

In short, I remember in the consultation that I have to practice meditation as usual by focusing on the respiratory system and circulatory system. And I have to always remember not to meditate with a strong mind that I want to be healed, I want to be healed, because that will cause bad energy to my body. Most importantly is to feel the body and know that all conditioned things are impermanent or Anicca. 

I also consulted with a lung specialist. I was diagnosed with hyper-aggregation where I have an increased blood clot formation. This condition Is very dangerous for those with Covid-19. Therefore, apart from taking antiviral medicine, antibiotic, multivitamin and vitamin D, I was given a blood thinning medicine. O yes, meditation friends please be careful when we add our supplement or any kind of medicine as it may worsen our condition if we don’t understand the side effects from these supplements or other medicines. For supplements and other additional medicines, I always consult with my doctor so all the medicine that I am taking is under doctor’s supervision. By meditating I feel a lot calmer and it has helped with my healing. Other than that, practicing meditation also helped me to be more aware of the greatness of God’s grace and God’s presence in my life, especially during my self-isolation time. Another thing that I feel during this meditation is that I became more sensitive towards my body’s condition, because every time we practice meditation we always feel the body and give positive energy to our body. During my self isolation time, I never miss the Mixlr broadcast 2x a day and also practice Usada 2 together on Tuesday. I am grateful I can join the One Day Mindfulness and Wisdom Meditation session. These meditation practices have helped me tremendously to fill up my day during self-isolation time and have also given a calming effect within myself. Now I am totally healed and healthy. I am thankful because when I am sick, I have learnt this Bali Usada health meditation. Thank you Pak Merta, Pak Putu and all Meditation friends. Two words that I feel are very powerful and have helped me are Mindfulness and Anicca. Without mindfulness and Anicca I won’t be able to go through this pain with the feeling of ease and letting go. Thank you once again to Bali Usada and I would also like to thank all my friends who have supported and prayed for me. May all beings be happy.

Juliawaty Widjaja - Meditation friend from Health Meditation Regular Usada 2 class