From 5 o’clock in the morning until the evening at 09.30 Pak Merta accompanied us. If the class is at Forest Island, Pak Merta comes on Wednesday night. Here we are with Pak Merta from morning to evening, Pak Merta comes to lecture directly. Every time I join Tapa Brata, there are different topics, according to the phases of my condition at that time. There is always something to be learned in every lecture.

At the beginning, I thought it would be impossible to join the Tapa Brata, because I have two children, I have to cook, and organize my business. But I managed to re-arranged my schedules to join the course. I've never felt what people usually say is the release of bad memories. But on the 3rd day, a memory of my primary school appeared. That time in the afternoon, a neighbor's dog entered the yard. My younger brother was so scared. He is 4 years younger than me. I was about 9 years old at the time. He was so afraid, so I carried him from behind his waist. My intention is to put him on my lap. But he was restless and scared, so he got out of my hands and fell. His forehead landed on the cement garden of the house, and was badly cut. In Chinese Culture, my younger brother is the eldest grandson. So, it makes him a diamond's grandson. I really don’t think about it, as it was so long ago. And the family never talked about it either. But I still have that guilt. When meditating I don't look for it, but come out by itself. There is only discomfort in the throat. Then I follow, and up to the stomach. It was so amazing. I've never felt before, what it's like to let go of that bad memory. It finally happened.

The plus point when Tapa Brata online at home is, we don't sleep with people we don't know. At Forest Island, we have to sleep with a new friend. We will wonder if he snores at night or has different habits from us. Then take turns showering. There are a lot of adjustments, even though in Forest Island the place is also good and the food is delicious. But at home there are also many benefits. Even though I have to go down to get my food every morning at 11. But that doesn't affect my routine. The results are deep enough to let go of bad memories. I am very grateful like the others. Just giving back what I have been given is nothing compared to what Bali Usada has given. May all beings be happy.

Betty Salim – Meditation Friend from the Tapa Brata Live Online - Intensive Meditation class